One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Supposedly, we learn more from our failures than from our successes. 

I certainly hope so.

One step forward...
The purpose of this writing project is to chart my own personal journey in trying to live a life according to the classical virtues of Justice, Fortitude, Prudence and Moderation. My ultimate hope is that others will be motivated to do the same. Since beginning this project I have come to appreciate how paying attention to these virtues can be a real source of strength in my daily life. But the road is not an easy one. If I am going to do this properly I am going to need to be brutally honest in chronicling not just my successes, but also my failures. 


Two steps back...

Today I willingly kicked Fortitude & Justice to the curb. I knew there was something I should do today, but I just didn't want to. It was something I was uncomfortable with, even though it was clearly "the right thing to do." I am not the most outgoing guy and today's opportunity would have required me to go out of my comfort zone. I let my discomfort rule over my sense of both Justice and Fortitude. And now I feel lousy. I think in retrospect my guilt feels worse than the discomfort would have had I gone through with today's chore. I suppose that is something to remember. But right now it doesn't help all that much.

I remember reading somewhere that once you start eating better, that when you cheat, and eat junk it tends to make you feel worse than it did before you were eating healthy. I think the same principle applies here. Before I started seriously evaluating my daily activities in light of the classical virtues I doubt whether today's missed opportunity would have left much of an impression on my psyche. 

Progress? In a way, I guess it is. But I'll tell you one thing. Next time I feel anxiety pushing me away from a task I know I should do, I will work harder to push it aside. One step forward...